On the last episode of, “Death is a Real Bitch,” it was the beginning of February, and Sara’s wedding was quick approaching. It’s now the beginning of March and the wedding has passed. It was a perfect day, with the most beautiful bride (and groom, I suppose) and everything unfolded perfectly. It had it’s share of sad moments, funny ones, and of course there were pennies. I made it through my matron of honor speech without crying by the skin of my teeth, but I held it together. I had been saving a story for this very speech for a year and a half and it was so hard not to tell anyone before my speech. I was actually surprised, the best man asked to give his speech before mine, because he didn’t want to follow me. I was really touched by that, and had quite a lot of people compliment me on it afterwards. I thought I would share the story here now, because of course my mother was the centerpiece of that story, and I feel like it gave Sara and Michael a little blessing from Heaven to start their marriage. And the end of the story is my mother being right about one more thing, so why not share that with you all?
About 4 years ago Sara was moving to Cincinnati for a new job (and boyfriend 😉 ) and I was a little apprehensive about her moving so far away. I was telling my mom as much and was saying, “What if we move her down there and they break up? We’re going to have to move her back, she’s going to cry, I’m not going to be able to handle that!” And she said, “I don’t think that’s going to be an issue, Ash.” And I said, “Why do you think that?” And she got quiet for a second, and then she said, “Rachel is for Chris, Dominic is for you, Michael is for Sara.”
Now how crazy is it that 4 years later, we’re at the wedding that my mother knew would one day come to fruition? I just had to share that story, firstly because it’s a very sweet story that I thought she would want me to share, but secondly because my mother would LOVE that I ended the speech with, “You were right, Mom.” Only this woman would send me consistent “I told you so” messages from Heaven, almost as if to say, “I’m not there, but I’m still right about everything.”
Even thinking about that story now makes me tear up a little bit. Who would have known what a blessing that conversation was going to be? I think that’s the takeaway from this blog post. Conversations that you have with people, ones that seem insignificant at the time, can turn out to be the thing you hold onto the most when that person is gone. Sometimes when I think about her, I can still hear her voice, remembering the conversations we had together. And then, my mind always goes back to the last conversation. Always. And while it is full of sadness and regret, it also holds a lesson I remind myself of everyday, every time I think about it. I was complaining about a bad day, and she let me bitch until I couldn’t anymore, and then she said, “Well, it can only get better then, right?” So now every time I think I’m having a bad day, that’s the first thing I think – it can only get better. I was having a rough morning a couple weeks ago, and I let myself say out loud, “Ugh this is the worst morning ever!” And then I immediately thought, no it’s not, not even close. It’s been chaotic and annoying and overwhelming, but it’s not the worst. So I said out loud to no one, as if to apologize to the silence, no it’s not. I’ve lived through the worst morning ever, this is not it. And it can only get better now. And it did get better. And I thought of her. Even when she’s gone, she’s still teaching me something. Is there anything more “mom” than that?
This is where I’m going to leave you friends. I hope you’re having a lovely day, and if you’re not, just remember, it can only get better. And then when it does, let me know, so I can say I told you so.
Until next time.