So here we are. I’m blogging. Let me be the first to say I have no idea what I’m doing. I wanted to start writing this in an effort to put my thoughts somewhere productive and not just in my head. I’ll apologize in advance if my thoughts appear to be all over the place – it’s because they are. Fair warning to a few things: I plan to be brutally honest in my writing. Not only because I want to be completely honest in what I’m feeling or going through, but because it’s not in my nature to be otherwise. Also, I curse. A lot. Most of the time without even noticing that I’ve done it. I mean the name of this blog is Death is a real Bitch. I think that’s warning in and of itself.
I don’t even know where to begin other than to say I’m new to blogging and grief and both are overwhelming at the moment. During a moment of clarity it occurred to me that I might not be the only person to ever feel this way. I might not be the only person who feels like they’re drowning in this; like the sadness is so great and so heavy that I just may crumble beneath it. And maybe if someone else reads this, someone who is also going through this horrible bullshit, they won’t feel so alone or overwhelmed or completely miserable for one second.
Just for the sake of mentioning it again, in case you haven’t read the About section, if you’re feeling not like yourself, if you’re feeling depressed in a way you can’t pull out of, if you’re having suicidal thoughts, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, there’s no shame in any of that. Please reach out for help if you think you need it. And if you think you need it, then you need it. There’s a link to crisis centers and hotlines in the About section.